How do you say good-bye to someone you've only known a few years and felt like you've been together your whole life? It's something I'm doing right now as painful as it may be.
I am an older woman, as she was - there was only a year between us - and when I first attended funerals everyone dressed in black because it was a time of mourning. However, it is not a time of mourning but, rather, a time of celebrating her life. I'm going to bring it a bit brighter and happier today, as she would want it.
Everybody has things that they collect and the things one collects may or may not be valuable. It could be bottle caps, for example, or perhaps a fine art collection that creates a fortune in one's home. Paula collected things, too, and some of you might think she collected fabric - which she did, lots of it. Some may think it's sewing machines - and, yes, a whole bunch of those too. Those who went Goodwill shopping with her might think she collected knick-knacks, which she did. She even collected underwear - stories that will stay with the retreat Gals - which she did. There was one item Paula collected that is far more valuable than any other treasure on Earth. Paula collected people. Paula collected friends and she didn't collect enemies. Everybody who knew her loved her instantly.
I met her personally in 2017 but she contacted me in late 2016 and wanted to attend a retreat I was hosting. She would be coming with a friend and they both signed up, paid their fees, and were ready for fun. Then, her friend got cold feet, I think, and decided to cancel. I had over my minimum so was able to refund her money. Then, Paula must have decided she didn't want to come without her friend and called to cancel. At this point I didn't have over the minimum anymore and shared with her that I couldn't refund her money. She said she'd think about it. So, anyone knowing Paula, knows what happened next as she wasn't one to give up money easily. She called back to say that she would make it work and we'd see her at retreat. From the moment she arrived, she felt at home and we've had her at just about every retreat since. Her nametag shows 40 retreats - quite an accomplishment in 5 years and we're only one group she sewed with. The very first retreat someone mentioned a couple of openings in upcoming retreats AND another was trying to sell a spot in an upcoming beach retreat. Paula bought them all. Then she said, "I probably should call Joe-Pat."
She didn't know the word "no" and that was frustrating at times when we wanted her to not do so much but if there was an adventure out there to be had, Paula was right there enjoying life.
From the very beginning, she shared stories of her life with us. Jaws dropped in the room when sweet, little Paula told us she was a prison guard. That was very shocking to all of us until this past April when we had a retreat with the theme, "Jailbreak." Paula managed to get ahold of one of her old uniforms and the minute that went on her, she was not the same person. She was scary and she pushed her way past people, "Ms. Rainer coming through." All of this proved her story to be true - as crazy as it still seems to us. Gambling was another story she shared with us and told us how crazy lucky she had been and that she had even won a pick-up truck. And again, we were all in awe. It didn't take too long to understand that she was just about the luckiest person - she won at everything. As I was posting pictures of our wonderful 5 years together, I cannot count how many times Paula's arms were in air, indicating she had won at a game. Another love of hers was thrifting, Goodwill bargains, garage sale finds. One morning I got up at retreat and she had snuck out at the crack of dawn to check out an amazing sale. When she returned with her goodies, a few of us pouted a bit and then she took us all to the sale.
When larger opportunities arose, she took them. We went to Houston for Quilt Festival and had the times of our life. She showed up in Athens at a friends house, whom she had never met. We went to Surfside Beach many times and hung out on the beach. (This picture was the last one on the slide show at the funeral - because it it just perfect.)
We went to Huntsville and Rainbow was her Quilt Sister time where I've already shared how often she joined us. We left the country together. Paula had to get a passport for the first time. We went to Mexico, Jamaica, and Grand Cayman. I will NEVER forget her and the giant stingrays and the starfish in Grand Cayman. She did not want to get out of the ocean. She wanted to hold and be in the water with those animals forever.
Last April we took an epic road trip together all the way to Virginia and back and had an amazing time together full of hugs, laughter, and smiles. It is the one time that Paula got very angry with me. We stopped in West Memphis, AR, known to be a difficult city and we were warned not to go off along anywhere. Our hotel was across the interstate from a very large casino. She really thought she should go and I really thought she shouldn't. I wouldn't take her over there and she got very upset with me and at the following retreat she told EVERYONE that I had told her NO.
Paula would come and stay at my house and and I treasure those times so much, so much more than I can express. We didn't always sew - we talked. We shared lives. I asked her for advice, she asked me for advice. She was the best buddy. We didn't have a text relationship - some people do. We picked up the phone and talked to each other. The last few weeks, I probably spoke to Paula 3-4 times a day and just told her constantly how loved she was. We have so many funny stories and our group are sharing them continuously with each other. I posted a lot of pictures, but some I left out - some out of respect. I'm thankful for all the pictures I have of her. I can go down memory lane as often as I wish. Yes, I take pictures. It's what I do as for me they are a trigger for a memory. I don't have a great memory so pictures bring it all back alive to me. This quote says it all, "We take pictures to stop time - to commit moments to eternity." I'm thankful for the moments I've committed to eternity and have been able to share with everyone else as well.
I will never forget the joy she brought to everyone. I will never forget the hugs that she gave to everybody all the time. I will never, ever forget the day she crawled into my bed to cheer me up. Earlier I said, that Paula was the luckiest person I knew. It's not a true statement. I was the lucky one because she collected me.
Be like Paula - LIVE. ENJOY. Go on Adventures. Say YES and have joy in all that you do.
Thank you Joe-Pat, for sharing your sweet bride with us so often. You are amazing as well. I love you and will love your "love" for the rest of my life.
Hey Paula - if you're watching. It was standing room only. You are LOVED!
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